Never mind that Rooster thing

Those of you who followed my Elbrus Blog know I wrote under the character avatar "Rooster." I chose this for a variety of reasons most probably associated with the scrappy and infinitely masculine nature of same. Since time, I have learned that Roosters in fact do not have a penis. Their contribution to procreation is delivered by way of "sperm globules." This changed everything for me. It's just not the same deal. So never mind that Rooster thing. Call me Dave.

A reader asked what I am doing to train for the Aconcagua climb, which I leave for on January 9, 2010.
My training is composed of two parts; Gym and Outdoors.

My gym workout is a Monday, Wednesday, Friday thing. I do 20 minutes on a stepmill, 30 minutes of weights and core strength, then a 2 mile run on the treadmill. Sometimes I substitute the two mile run for two miles of packing. I'll jog out to my car and extract my expedition pack from the trunk. After topping off the water containers inside it, I will throw in a ten pound weight from the bench-press station. That brings the load up to 80 pounds. With the incline on the treadmill shifting between 15 and 30 degrees I'll schlogg out about an hour of grunting. I typically pass this time watching one of the five televisions that face a roomful of exercise machines designed to simulate everything from rowing to taking out the garbage. The regrettable consequence of this is the daytime television I have become acquainted with. Here are my observations; 1.All Soap Operas spin off the central themes of Greed, Lust, and the suspected illegitimacy of one or more children. Though we might expect Love to figure in there somewhere, one party is typically faking it. I would like to see a plot line where the child's Father is known with certainty, yet there is some doubt about whom the Mother is. If you think this is a stretch you probably haven't watched much Soap Opera. 2. If you are ever invited to be on the Jerry Springer Show you should decline. Nothing good can come of this. Any minor celebrity you may enjoy will surely be negated by the revelation that your best friend is a cross-dressing skinhead who is secretly in love with you. 3. Almost all news is designed to reassure shut-ins that they've made the right choice.

My Outdoors Workout is a Tuesday, Saturday thing. A few years ago I knew the honor of climbing Kilimanjaro with famed Sherpa Ang Dorje. As lead Sherpa to Rob Hall, Ang figured keenly in the book "Into Thin Air." He is one of the brave heroes who went back out in the storm to rescue lost and stranded climbers. Ang has summited Mt Everest 13 times. In the course of the seven days we climbed together in Africa, Ang and I discussed training several times. Again and again he stressed the importance of getting outside for part of a climber's training. Having too many times seen climbers arrive at Everest trained only indoors, Ang knew the high failure rate they experienced. A Stepmill is fine for some training (I have one in my garage), but each foot placement enjoys a perfectly flat stable surface. This bears no resemblance to the steep, uneven, and often loose terrain a climber must move up. The result being feet, ankles, and calves which are ill-prepared for actual climbing.
On Tuesdays and Saturdays I load my expedition pack with sixty pounds of water and climb the steepest hill in this area, the Cedar Lakes Trail. This is a 1,400 ft gain over the course of 1.7 miles. It takes me about 50 minutes to get to the top. I pour out half the water (to save my knees), change shirts, drink a liter of water, and head back down. Door to door it's a two hour round trip. Hikers on the trail will ask me what I am training for. Some think I am crazy and they tell me so. Others encourage me on saying "Good luck" and "You go, Dude." I am really really sick of this workout. It's a fanny kicker and I have been doing it for the better part of seven months. As much as I am looking forward to leaving for Argentina in a week, I am equaled excited to only have two more of these hikes.